"The food at this place is really terrible". And the other one says: "Yeah, I know. And such small portions."
I don't wanna live in a city where the only cultural advantage is that you can make a right turn on a red light.
[...] I interestingly dated a woman in the Eisenhover administration, briefly, and it was ironic to me because I was
trying to do to her what Eisenhover has been doing to the country for the last [?] years.
I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible be like, I don't
know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life. It's amazing to
me. And the miserable is everyone else. So you should be thankful that you're miserable, because that's very lucky,
to be miserable.
I was thrown out of there during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final. You know, I looked within
the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.
Alvy: You look like a really happy couple? Are you?
Alvy: Yeah? So how to you count for it?
Woman: I am very shallow and empty, and I have no ideas and nothing interesting to say.
Man: And I'm exactly the same way.
Alvy: I see. That's very interesting. So you managed to work out something?
In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
That was the most fun I've ever had without laughing.
Annie: You know I just like to smoke a little something before sex, it helps me relax
Alvy: How about I give you some Sodium Pentathol and can sleep through the whole thing.
I could tell by the sound of your voice over the phone. Very authoritative you know, like the Pope or the computer in
Hannah and Her Sisters
How the hell do I know why there were Nazis? I don't know how the can opener works!
If Jesus Christ came back today and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop
Husbands and Wives
You use sex to express every emotion except love
I thought your line was great about, uh, "life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television." I mean, it's completely true.
Shadows and Fog
I know exactly what I think about all this, but I can never find words to put it in. Maybe if I get a little drunk I could
dance it for you.
Doctor to Miles: And if they capture you, you don't know anything. They could torture you for hours and what
could you tell them?
Miles: Only my name, rank, and your names.
Play It Again, Sam
Diane: My God. Can't you cook anything but that TV dinner?
Woody: Who bothers to cook them? I suck them frozen.
`What are you planning on doing Saturday night?`
`Well... how about Friday night?`
Take the Money and Run
But she was so sweet and we just walked in the park and I was so touched by her that, after fifteen minutes, I
wanted to marry her and, after half an hour, I completely gave up the idea of snatching her purse.
Love and Death
My room at midnight?
All right. Will you be there too?
Sonja: To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love, but then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to
love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer, to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love, to be happy then is to suffer but
suffering makes one unhappy, therefore to be unhappy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much
happiness. I hope you're getting this down...
Crimes and Misdemeanors
The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty
There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the
waking hours much more.
It's getting harder to speak without offending someone. The following are some helpful
1. Involuntarily leisured (unemployed)
2. Differently interesting or charm-free (boring)
3. Differently evolved (of animals)
4. Uniquely proficient (incompetent)
5. Electorally slighted (of a losing political candidate)
6. Pharmacological preference (addiction)
7. Previously enjoyed sound bite (a cliche)
8. Contributions (tax payments)
9. Nontraditional shopper (a looter or shoplifter)
10. Terminally inconvenienced (dead)
by Astor Piazzolla (click to listen)
by Ian Anderson (click to listen)
by Yann Tiersen (click to listen)
Turkish Music (click to listen)
A remarkable video of an unusual friendship (click to view)
- Beauty of style and harmony and grace and good rhythm depend on simplicity — I mean the true simplicity of a rightly and nobly ordered mind and character, not that other simplicity which is only a euphemism for folly.
- When the tyrant has disposed of foreign enemies by conquest or treaty, and there is nothing to fear from them, then he is always stirring up some war or other, in order that the people may require a leader.
- Any man may easily do harm, but not every man can do good to another.
- All that is said by any of us can only be imitation and representation
- Excess generally causes reaction, and produces a change in the opposite direction, whether it be in the seasons, or in individuals, or in governments
- Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
- Ignorance, the root and stem of all evil.
- We do not learn; and what we call learning is only a process of recollection.
- We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.
- Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools speak because they have to say something.
- The worst of all deceptions is self-deception.
- The measure of a man is what he does with power.
- He who commits injustice is ever made more wretched than he who suffers it.
- Injustice is censured because the censures are afraid of suffering, and not from any fear which they have of doing injustice.
- No law or ordinance is mightier than understanding.
- Courage is knowing what not to fear.
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